Inside Slyck

Rejected from The Onion

2006-08-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

I had some bad news when I collected my post today. I received a letter from The Onion which said after assessing some of my recent articles they have decided not to process my application any further.

I was so upset I cried. It looks like I'm stuck at Slyck News for longer than I had hoped.

Just to let all my fans know that this will not prevent me from bringing you the latest news. If anything I'm going to work harder, and even try an back up my stories with some factual evidence.

New job ??

2006-07-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

Great news today! The Onion have contacted me regarding a job! I have always dreamed of working for this news site.

If you have not heard of The Onion it is "America’s Finest News Source", and of a much higher quality than Slyck News. It is sometimes criticised because a few reporters have posted articles in which some of the so called factual content is questionable, but as a journalist myself I know that facts sometimes get in the way of a good story.

In my opinion The Onion represents hard hitting journalism at its very best. Some of the most recent articles include:

Grieving Tiger Woods Convinced Everyone Let Him Win British Open (view)
Report: 47% Of Satellites Currently Monitoring Celebrity Parenting (view)
Chinese Employers To Grant 15-Minute Maternity Break (view)

I am so excited. I’m going to apply immediately.

Here is the original letter:

Dear [My real identity has been deliberately removed],

At THE ONION we are always searching for reporters with a special type of talent. Unlike most papers we cultivate an environment which allows our reporters to write imaginative, creative stories with none of the factual constraints typically associated with journalism.

We at THE ONION regularly read Slyck News, and often view it as a competitor of our technology columns.

As one of the most creative reporters at Slyck News, we are pleased to offer you a chance to apply for one of our job vacancies. Please quote the reference "n00b" on your application letter.

Good luck!

[Signature deliberately removed]

Feedback from my fans

2006-07-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

I like to describe my stories as hard hitting and controversial. Here are some of the ways my fans describe my posts (real feedback taken from threads at Slyck News):

Excellent article, Mike. Very well done

DaBlade

wow this is possibly the worst story i've ever read here

aiptek

I clicked on it [my article] thinking I'd get some news about file-sharing. As it turned out, I didn't and was sorry I had taken the time.

Sioen

i remember when i posted that, almost 2 years ago, ahhhh the memories...

notbob (well I can't always be the first can I?)

My new site

2006-07-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, I'm Michael Ingram from Slyck News. This is my site, dedicated to bring the truth out behind our hard hitting stories. You are going to be surprised, so be sure to keep coming back.

P.S. my name is not really Michael Ingram, this is a simple alias. You will never guess my real name because I am far too clever and elusive